Hello, long time, no blog. I feel like I’ve lived 27 lives since I last posted a blog. It has been hard for me to write blogs because I want to do God justice when I explain just how good He has been to me. We are almost done with our fourth month on the race and coming up on team changes. So I figured I would let you guys in on some of the amazing things God has been doing in my heart.
I came on the race living a double life, giving most of myself to the world, my desires, and sin, and whatever was left, I gave to Jesus. I now understand that if I had known the Father for who He truly was, then I would have chosen Him every single time. I can say now that while I still feel like such a baby in my relationship with Jesus, I just want Him. I have tasted and seen that He is so good. I realized that if I wanted to walk into the freedom that only comes from Christ, then I needed to become small. I feel like my whole life, the idea of becoming small and giving up my life was the complete opposite of freedom, but wow, was I wrong. Sin was keeping me under the control of the world; I was never able to reach true fulfillment and peace because I was not being filled up by the ultimate Giver of peace.
For the first time in my life, I read, “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?” (Matthew 16:24-26) and believe it. I have seen firsthand the power of Jesus and never want to go back to the way I was living before I experienced His all-encompassing love. The joy, peace, fullness, wonder, love, and passion I’ve felt in these past four months will never be found in the empty promises of this world. I’ve seen how the Holy Spirit can make a day where I’m not doing anything particularly remarkable or exciting one of the best days, not because of anything I could do but because of what He does. It is honestly challenging to put into words just the awe I’ve had for how the Father has completely changed my heart, desires, and identity. Nothing I’ve experienced on the race up into this point has been my own doing but what the Holy Spirit has done in and through me. Long story short, He has been so faithful to me up until this point; He could have given up pursuing me after the countless times I chose other things before Him. My Father never gave up on me, and I’m here living the happiest days of my life because of His unrelenting grace.
Photos from the past four months:
Guatemala
Honduras
Costa Rica
Nicaragua
